he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
