I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
