Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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