Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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