May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
