Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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