Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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