i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The dick lei will go down in squad history
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
