his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
