Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize