I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize