I wanna bring you to show and tell
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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