From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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