Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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