I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
