bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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