I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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