i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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