Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
