She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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