My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
