Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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