Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
