in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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