your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
