I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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