my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
