dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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