no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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