I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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