I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize