My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
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Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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