Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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