just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
