this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
