the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
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I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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