WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
