I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
