id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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