dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm both gender and math confused
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
