The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
