Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize