then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
