You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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