U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
