if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
