She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
