Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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