TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize