I just threw up on my dentist
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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