Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
