she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
