I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
