you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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