btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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