I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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