when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
