Betty ford says i'm here all night
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize