i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I looked at my own cervix.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
