At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
