You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
