Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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