was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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